So heres my story. Its not the whole thing, but a slight breafing on who I am , who I was, how I got here, where I may be going etc...
I was thick when I was little. I remember being heavy when I moved back to NY from Florida when I was little (around 7 or 8) but I didn't think there was anything wrong with it, I just rolled with it. No one ever made jokes, or poked fun at me. I didn't really realize I was "fat" until I was in my teens. In junior high (oh wait they call it middle school now?) and high school I was made fun of. I didn't understand why, so what I'm thick, there were people bigger then I was! I didn't get it, but it hurt bad. I don't think people really understood how much the words hurt. I avoided going to class, skipping classes that I knew people who made fun of me were in. It sucked, I look back and think about how I played the viola and was promised scholarships when I graduated. It upsets me but also makes me who I am and I'm ok with that.
I got into alot of trouble for skipping classes , the dean called my mother in to school and told her I either drop out of HS and I have the chance to come back when I get my crap together, or drop out. My mother signed me out that day, and the very same evening I got a job at a local grocery store. I was 16.
I have been working since, I also did alot of partying and things I shouldn't have been. I remember being 150lbs and hating it, thinking I'm so fat. I hover around 150lbs now and think JESUS WTF WAS WRONG WITH ME? Over time I bartended, had some really bad relationships etc. My weight went up to around 175lbs and back down to 150 etc. I would starve myself, excessivly diet, take tons of OTC meds like stacker 2's with ephedra (oh those were the days!). I even found a connect from mexico to get really cheap clenbuterol and thyroid meds. I just coudln't lose weight, or be happy with myself.
Then I met my amazing husband, I still can't believe I met an amazing person who I had almost nothing in common with but got along great with. I didn't want to even be apart from him. When I saw him it was love at first sight. We had agreat time going out, eating, eating again, partying drinking, having a great time. I never even noticed that my weight skyrocketed to 230lbs in just a few short months (im 5'8 btw) .
I'll never forget the day, my periods were always irregular, and I was sick as a dog. Pat (hubby) was out on long island visiting me for the weekend. Something told me to get a pregnancy test I took one it came back positive (I took like 10 more after that I didn't even believe I could get pregnant!) I was convinced that the nyquil I was taking must have given me a falst positive result. I was in denial. Pat told everyone he knew that we were going to be parents ( we were offically together 5 months) I wasn't even sure that I wanted to be a mommy! I told Pat, if you want this child you will marry me. December 9th 2005 we were married.. Best decision of my life.. Now hes mine, back up you all can't have him lol...
I'll never forget my first doctors appointment, this was my wake up call.. The point I was getting to; "Ms. ***** you are morbidly obease and putting your unborn child at risk, please make sure that you do not gain more then 15lbs during this pregnancy or you may hurt your child"
This stuck like glue, I actually didn't gain any weight during this pregnancy, and I think that being pregnant actually helped reset my metabolism from all the crash diets, and yoyo dieting. After giving birth to my amazing daughter Emma, I vowed to be more healthy, to lose weight and be a positive influence on her. I wanted her to know what healthy was, to be happy with who she is, and know how beautiful she is every day.
I have tried some wacked things, like juice fasting, and the master cleanse. I tried low carb, and it has pretty much stuck since 2007 along with Paleo/Primal.
I dropped from 230lbs down to 140lbs in late 2009 early 2010. I then got pregnant with my son PJ and gained over 70lbs and I'm still losing that weight. I never really exercised, so I'm trying to get into that also. Since having my son, and eating paleo/low carb I have noticed my sensativity to gluetin, and my body loves to cycle carbs. Every day is a new challenge, every day I struggle to lose weight, stay positive, and move foward. I slip up just like everyone else but I have to remember to be a positive influence on my husband and children. Every day I tell them I love them, I tell them how amazing they are, and I thank god for sending them to me because I wouldn't be where I am today. I have had some dark times in my past, but it helps me see how bright my future may be.
I signed up for my first 2 runs (both 5ks in July) and I hope to be able to save money to take a class to become a certified health coach (intergrative nutrition) Every day I will become better for myself, and to be a positive influence on others. I plan becoming more physically fit, and being toned and not worrying about the number on the scale so much. I will some day soon look at myself in the mirror nude and say HOLY SH*T I LOOK AMAZING! One day soon! I know it will happen, it has to happen, I can do it! Hopefully you follow me along the way. Feel free to ask questions, or comment.
This is my year, its an odd year (2013) and I am going to be a double odd age (33) So this is my time to SHINE!
me in 2005 @ 230lbs
Me a few weeks ago after the 21 day sugar detox , and a fat fast losing weight for the
www.sweatybetties.com diet bet (May 2013) @ 145lbs
Work in PROGRESS!!!! Every day I will be a better me!
